Hola, crypto guardians!

You’re reading Owlsome- a place where crypto is more entertaining than “watching Gold digger videos”.

Now straighten your spine and get straight inside the below crypto mime.

Note: The content down below can be funnier than seeing Master Yoda become the Hulk.

Here’s what my owl got for ya’ today

• BlackRock reveals its perfect portfolio standard

• The new Optimism wallet is turning heads.

• Millionaire Crypto influencer found chopped in a suitcase😨

• Funniest meme on the planet

  
  

Let’s fooking go!

BlackRock reveals research on a perfect portfolio.

Since the start of time, every man, Black or white has had the same question: What should my investment portfolio look like?

Well, folks at BlackRock went on to find the answer to this.

And Guess what? They made it.

Their research says an ideal risk vs rewards portfolio should be something like…

• 84.9% BTC

• 9.06% Stocks

• 6.04% in bonds

  
  

This is coming from a $9 Trillion asset manager. Holy chicken!

My Grandma almost did a somersault upon learning this. Yes, my old girl has 90% of her savings in Bitcoin, plus a 100% crush on Satoshi Nakamoto.

Oh, Fu*ck! Can you connect the dots?

→ First Black Rock applies for an ETF

→ Then their CEO Larry Fink promotes Bitcoin on Television

→ Now, their research favoring Bitcoin is out…Ouch!!

It all points to a direction that says “Bitcoin is the King”👑

And Satoshi is the Kingmaker.

The new Beam wallet fulfills the promise of web3

Hodl your hands in the air for the all-new Beam wallet, that pees straight on people who say “self-custody in crypto is complex”

Have a look at its killer features🔥

• Requires no seed words storage

• Can be logged in through Twitter

• No KYC, no signup.

• Users can send payments simply by using a link to a QR code.

• No need to store Ethereum for transaction fees.

  
  

Am I the only one smelling mass adoption here?

Well, all kisses to Ethereum’s account abstraction ( ERC-4337) implementation, in March, which makes it all possible.

Beam is developed by the team behind ECO protocol and is powered by the $ECO token.

And Guess what?

It is backed by the Top Guns in web3: a16z, Coinbase ventures, and Founders Fund, among others.

Plus this is just the beginning…

I can already imagine Vitalik twerking with happiness.

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Millionaire crypto influencer cut in a merciless manner.

This is the scariest shit, my eyes saw in crypto.

(Note: It’s not for the faint-hearted)

The chopped body parts of Fernando Pérez Algaba, 41, were discovered by a group of kids in Argentina while playing.

Upon inspecting the package the police found the victim’s legs and forearm inside, with another whole arm in the stream.

And on Wednesday, authorities discovered the missing head and torso

The body parts were cleanly amputated, clearly the work of a professional.

A subsequent autospy suggested that he was shot 3 times before dismemberment.

Ferando’s rags to riches story…

Well, he started working at the age of 14.

“I started with a bicycle and a box and I started selling sandwiches,” said Fernando, who reportedly graduated to buying vehicles to repair and resell.

His dedication paid off quite well, as he had a warehouse full of luxury cars and motorcycles by age 24.

He then subsequently went on to start his own luxury car and jet ski rental firm in Miami.

By the time he jumped on the crypto train during his final years, he was a millionaire already.

However, evidence suggests that he lost a lot of money trading crypto. He was popularly known to promote crypto projects to his 900k followers on Instagram.

Well, gone is this man. And alive we are.

Work hard peeps, no need to cry over this…But instead, draw inspiration from his stint.

Hot Headlines

• British Museum is entering the Sandbox.

• Sam Altman says Worldcoin is onboarding eight users per second, but claims are largely unsubstantiated

  
  

Funniest Meme on the planet