Leadership: A Blessing Or A Curse?

To begin with, I should probably stipulate where such a headline comes from. My personal experience led me to this topic. In my life, I have often encountered good and bad leaders. I myself managed to be on both sides of the barricades. This led me to several conclusions, which I’d like to share with leaders and their followers to give both sides food for thought.

Leadership does not always come with a “+” sign: some inject something good and create, while others consistently destroy everything from the inside. Each company's task is to identify leaders, understand their roles and position, and methods of encouragement and retention. If an organization does not know how to manage leaders, this can cause a sharp takeoff or no less sharp decline in business.

Either way, some specific causal relationships and scenarios can make leadership both fun and painful. It would be nice to get to know them as early as possible.

Toxicity alert: carefully read the signs

In every company I have ever worked at, I have met such leaders or acted as one myself. I began to understand this around the age of 30, and before that, I did not realize what I was doing or saying and what was happening around me. After analyzing the circumstances, a phrase from the Spiderman movie popped into my head, Ben Parker's words, which he addressed to his nephew Peter: "With great power comes great responsibility." You are a leader; therefore, you must understand: if your judgment is listened to and you, as an influencer, can impact the collective mood and thinking, you must be very competent and meticulous about your mission.

Just one carelessly thrown phrase can ruin the spirit of the whole team. At the same time, the right words can stimulate a team in rough times. I witnessed how one leader, who was not just the mastermind of his team but of the entire organization, fell out with the company (whose behavior, by the way, left much to be desired). It was a one-day dismissal, and overall, the separation went not with a light heart but with a serious offense. The news spread like fire, and the whole team immediately learned about the incident.

When this occurs with a top leader, it cannot but raise questions. How could this happen to one of the key employees? Therefore, the teammates began to worry about their fate, and everything began to fall apart like a house of cards. People who were loyal to this leader turned around and left the company, and the motivation of those who remained fluctuated around zero. The collective spirit dissolved into thin air, which led to the loss of 30% of the company's staff. As a result, the organization lost its crucial project.

I also witnessed a scene where the company held onto the top leader, who was also incredibly toxic. He was unaware of how dashingly he was wrecking everything from the inside. This leader could express his opinion in straight text with a storm of emotions towards the management and even the client. Indeed, straightforwardness often works, but here, it is important to understand to whom you are saying this. If someone does that to me, I will digest the information and decide. The younger workers will take everything on faith and live with these thoughts.

That is, despite being an excellent techie, the leader was unusually toxic, and he exuded this energy, intoxicating others. Nothing was ever right or good enough. I am positive that keeping such an employee is detrimental to a company, even in a top position. You have to take the risk and part ways.

It’s safe to say that I once took on the features of a toxic leader. Everyone who knows me can corroborate. Some people tend to keep things to themselves, whereas I do not hesitate to express my thoughts and views. The desire and ability to share what’s on your mind are pivotal. Since there were those who trusted me, some of my negative reactions may have spread to them. Sometimes it's good: seeing outright nonsense, you obtain their support, and the situation will be ultimately resolved. If the case is petty, it’s just making a mountain out of a molehill because of your negative opinion, which permeates others’ minds like a virus.

Going someplace safe

Gradually, I came to realize that this is not how things work. I began to walk in the manager’s shoes and looked from the side at how it looked — pretty scary, to be honest. Over time, we have learned to deal with toxicity that can slip through teams. You can always find an approach to such people, and in this case, there are no hopeless situations. We take this negative energy and transform it into technical: we offer the guys the opportunity to create, we protect them from toxicity triggers, and we make a kind of umbrella in the form of management. And people begin to open up differently, and the team's mood improves. During personal conversations, we let them know that their mood carries over to the rest of the team and kindly ask them not to escalate. In conditions of mutual respect, dialogues tend to end positively. These teammates can come to me directly and express their most negative opinion about everything in the world, and for my part, I will try my best to resolve these issues.

I can’t stress this enough: people are more important than processes. A nominal toxic employee approaching me with a problem sees me, first of all, as a person, just like I do. They listen to me when I say that the situation is not worth it. They come to Andrii, the human being, not the manager. And when you just come to a manager, who wishes nothing but to keep you quiet, there will be no solution, motivation, or productivity. With a human approach and environmentally friendly communication, you can order chaos. My managers saw my expressiveness and knew how to redirect it properly. Just hearing me out solved half of the problem. Upon finding a solution, emotions dissipate, and common sense follows. After going through this cycle, I myself understand how to act and teach my guys the same.

Сonversations gone wrong

The inability to give feedback is a big problem. Some praise a person for a job well done but do it in an ambiguous, ridiculously joking manner. It should be expected that teammates will ask more and more questions. Was it sarcasm or not? What was exactly meant by that? By the way, from the employees’ perspective, I would recommend just that — asking a question and closing the topic once and for all. Leadership is not only about influence but also about interacting with people and the ability to feel them.

When talking to your leader makes you feel awkward, unhappy, and ambiguous, it means that this leader knows very little about you. Your leader is the problem, namely, the inability to pick the right words tailored for you personally. I know exactly what jokes my guys react to and how, on what days of the week. I know how to praise or scold them correctly. You cannot apply the same practices to all teammates and clients.

Your task as a leader is to find an approach to each individual. You need to be tougher with some and more delicate with others; some decisions need to be literally brought on a silver platter. One way or another, you need to be able to predict a person’s reaction, knowing where the boundaries are. There are people who require excessive praise. At the same time, I do not respect, and neither do I practice hypocrisy, but if I say that something is good, then it really is. And also, there are those who see praise as carte blanche for behaving like divas and stars. The topic of stars deserves special attention.

Reach the stars and draw their limits

The arrival of a star in a team is a classic and very complex situation; each requires individual consideration. However, you can always draw a parallel with sports like football. Let's say Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi joins some unremarkable and pretty mediocre team. They have their style and universal recognition, and it seems that it is logical to adjust all processes to them. But really, what’s the best way to interact with them?

There are two scenarios here. First: to get things straight at once, inform about the established processes and tactics that should be respected; since the star does not work in a vacuum but is part of a team, it would be awesome to fit into the existing realities. I repeat once again: it is necessary to discuss this from the first day. The further you go, the more difficult it will be to do so.

Scenario 2: You trust the star 300%. It is as clear as day that this employee is the best that can be, and the nominal Ronaldo will undoubtedly lead your team to victory. Therefore, you and the whole team, from the goalkeeper to the massage therapist, adjust yourselves and processes for him. And if the business tops, then the decision was right. Having no boundaries and a free hand, the star brings chaos to the processes. Then the leader's task is not to allow the star player to overshadow everyone else and make the team feel unnecessary and that the whole world revolves around one person. You need to find a use for the star and set some restrictions. Because otherwise, it is the curse of leadership: unlimited power leads to problems.

Let me give an example of Messi's experience. At some point, he began to dictate who would coach the team. He sorted out who he wanted to work with and who he didn't. Later, he stuck his nose in strategic decisions, and the selection of sports directors; he considered the club president an idiot and babbled in all interviews about the need to say goodbye to him. This is pure tyranny, leading either to stunning results or crushing ones. How comfortable is it for others to work with such a person? Of course, it’s nothing but annoying. Who wants to feel second-rate? Who wants to work at full capacity and give all credit to the star? Right, nobody.

In such a scenario, the heads of employees are occupied with a dilemma: to become a friend of the star and stay, or confront and get sacked? Defiantly arguing is obviously a fiasco. The fault in such a situation lies with the leader, who did not declare the game's rules. Sooner or later, a coalition will be created to oppose the star. Can we even talk about job satisfaction here? Of course not. Remember that the stars also have ups and downs: today, you are at the top, and tomorrow, the strategy takes a sharp turn, and you are not that irreplaceable anymore.

Instead of being a star, become the team's heart, which gives life to the whole organism. If the star does not interfere but helps and leads, the whole team can accomplish the impossible.

Ambitions trampling on others

I've always been an upstart and had my own opinion about everything. And as my career progressed, I was constantly thinking of multi-moves on how to deal with people like me. After all, often over-ambitious people can disrupt the peaceful life of the team and processes. If I had another me on the team, it would be a curse at its finest. Now I'm an adult, and everything has settled down, but in my school years, with all my frantic energy, I was difficult to tame. For the teachers, I was simply unbearable.

Let's say you have firewood. What happens if you take matches and make a fire in the living room? Fire and destruction. And what happens if you light a fire in the fireplace? You’ll be warm and cozy. In other words, you need to take this energy and correctly limit it brick by brick in the form of a fireplace, and then this energy will work for the good and not burn everything to ashes. And now, let's look at the situation from the other side: what if an upstart person is actually helpful? Whenever I face such situations, I think: what if they know better than I do? You need to keep the “what if” clause in your head. Does the value of unsolicited feedback override the troubles an upstart causes us? Oleksii Isaiev, VP of Delivery and just a person who inspires, once told me: “Your idea is as good as theirs.” This remark is forever cemented in my mind.

I usually say this: you can correct my work, but you cannot tell me how to do it. An important note: I say this to my managers, not junior employees. Feedback is always good; everyone can give it. A certain professional deformation blurs the view and does not allow you to see things on the surface. And then, a person comes from outside and brings a new and fresh look at familiar things. It sometimes carries more weight than decades of practice. I even sometimes lack the opinions of people even from other domains.

The leader must get involved in such situations, manage people's energies, and feel them. The leader's task is to keep the balance, remove the roughness, lead people to separate corners, and prevent uncontrolled confrontation. Tech leaders are dead; take this for granted. The world needs leaders who, like coaches, can balance a strong attack and a weak defense. It may be necessary to strengthen the middle of the field, so there is no gap. The team should not have strong and weak, but a perfect balance.

Going over the heads is the worst thing to happen inside a team. First, you go, and then someone does the same to you. Such a mindset is always visible, and you will not have any approval or followers. Trying to look better than others is a road to perdition. It is impossible for a manager not to feel this energy. A natural leader always has a bonus, some kind of extra life in the game. Find an authority that will properly talk to such a person, perhaps not even a direct leader, someone with influence and charisma.

Life after realizing the curse

The darkest hour is just before dawn. Self-analysis comes to the leaders’ rescue in the most challenging times when there is a clear awareness of the negative in their lives. If you know what black is, you’ll figure out how to come to grey and then to white. I had moments when I said to myself: I can’t do this anymore; this is some kind of curse. And right after that, I had a couple of options for changing the state of affairs. I asked myself many questions about what I really wanted, sorting everything into an action tree, which assumes “yes” or “no” answers. I came to realize what the soul was, how meaningful a human relationship was to me, and how desperately I needed to enjoy my life. To turn a curse into a blessing, I had to make a hairpin turn and change the domain.

It is vital to fearlessly face the problem and make decisions without delay. We only live once, and this is a reason enough not to put up with things that weigh on us. In this world, you must learn to let go of people and situations with an easy mind. Nobody cancels burnout, although it can be different. You can simply run dry in terms of inspiration, or you can completely lose interest in the work that you used to love with your whole being. If there is an area that keeps you up at night, you can nail it.

I can't help quoting Varian Wrynn from the Warcraft universe: "We forge our own destiny". No one will seal your fate but yourself.