How Freelancers Should Handle Derogatory Feedback From Employers Hell Bent on Breaking Them

I’m not the best, but I believe in improving daily. If you’re like many of us, it’s no news that we spend many hours crafting something (article or any artwork) and still end up being thrown off balance by our client’s derogatory feedback. Whether you’re a remote worker or an on-site office worker, negative feedback does have a way of hitting your mojo, and if cautious care isn’t taken, it could lead to depression.

Typically, feedback should serve as a light shining on things we can’t see for ourselves and not the other way around. But that isn’t the case today. Some employers put employees in positions to deal with them in their own way through knife-stabbing feedback not knowing they’re hurting their work motivations.

Feedback is very necessary and vital for growth. According to 2023 research by Zippia, it was recorded that about 98% of employees will disengage from work when they receive little or no feedback. Statistically, employees want to know how their services have affected the company’s growth. Passion-driven employees want to know how their efforts have affected the company, but it’s unfortunate that so many employers don’t know how to give feedback in an encouraging manner.

Meanwhile, a seminal meta-analysis suggested that almost 70% of feedback recipients will perform above average, and about 30% of feedback interventions actually hurt performance. From all indications, positive feedback is easier to convey, but if you're true to yourself, you’ll agree with me that negative feedback helps us grow better in our work performance.

Still, the manner of how, when, and why the superior dishes the feedback is the main challenge. For example, If an employer/editor of an organization develops some undefined hatred for a certain writer; the way and manner in which he or she is going to be giving feedback to the writer would be cruel and not many would be able to take the heat. Naturally, some would be affected psychologically and might struggle to focus on work. I’m not saying giving solid and correctional feedback is wrong; what I’m saying is that there are so many employers out there who don't know how to give feedback, and the side effects this has on employees are really deep.

An experience shared by an amazing SaaS writer on LinkedIn (Chima mmeje).

“Last year, a relationship with a dream client turned into a nightmare situation.

They fired the person who hired me and the person who took over was mean for the sake of it

He was giving me feedback designed to break me, not build me and he tagged his boss and new head of content in the feedback email so he could have an audience

Somehow, I stood up for myself and replied.

I made sure to tag everyone in the reply also since he wanted to go low

Then I told him his feedback was not helpful and mentioned how his words hurt me because he painted me like a bad writer who wasn't worth the money.

In the space of one month, he shattered my self-confidence as a writer and that's a dangerous thing.

He had been doing it to others but they couldn't speak up.

I work with editors and my copy improves because I'm learning from the feedback.

Every time he sent feedback I doubted myself.  I got to a point where I hated writing and it came from a place of fear.

I'm proud of myself for standing up for me and pushing back

Here's what I advise:

Lead with empathy.

How would you like to be treated if you were on the other side?

Do that instead

Feedback doesn't have to be cruel.

If it doesn't include a way to improve, that's not feedback

This applies to everything, not just editing”

Judging from Chima’s story, you’ll agree with me that there are so many writers, PR marketers, creative artists and service providers out there that are currently battling with the psychological trauma that emanated as a result of cruel feedback dished from their employers or clients.

Way out…how to handle cruel or negative feedback from employers or clients:

To begin with, it’s highly important to note that feedback is an integral part of improvements in organizations and there is no perfect way to handle cruel or negative feedback. However, here are a few professional ways to handle negative feedback from employers or clients;

#1 Pause for a while and reflect on the reviews:

One of the smartest ways to react upon receiving negative feedback from your employer or superior is to relax a bit after reading, and then gradually reflect on each review. Calmness helps you from getting all defensive and angry when you hear negative feedback.

Thereafter, reflect and see if the feedback applies directly to you or it’s based on inaccurate information. All the same, if you eventually find out something worth communicating with your superior, calmly do so but not necessarily that very moment you received the negative reviews.

#2 Always keep an open mind to learning, and never internalize those negative reviews:

If you keep an open mind to learning, and cultivate the habit of never allowing feedback to mix or toil with your emotions, you’re many distances away from an emotional and psychological breakdown. Of course, research has proven that negative research most times are not given to hurt you, but to improve on what the feedback is all about.

However, if the feedback is delivered to the employee inappropriately, such a person could be emotionally shattered or lose his or her self-esteem at that moment. So, it’s advisable to stay detached from feedback in order to view them objectively and not emotionally.

#3 Express how you feel to your employers especially when you’re hurt by the manner in which he or she dished out feedback:

Do you know that many employees like you really find it difficult to face and address this? In fact, many prefer to die in silence. Yes, we are all human and no one is a complete Island of knowledge. Just like Chima shared in her experience, she summoned the courage to email and express how she felt. Professionally and in a general sense, feedback is not meant to hurt you whether positive or negative but to improve you. So, it’s smart to bring to the notice of your superior if that isn’t meant.

#4 See the positive advantages in every negative feedback you receive:

If you’re like many of us creators, negative feedback has been one of the silver linings of our skill improvement. We take proper notes, learn and improve through the help of our superior guides and suggestions embedded in feedback. So you see, it’s wise to always take advantage of every form of feedback, especially the negative ones backed with lots of ‘whys.’ To mention a few, Erica Schneider — head of content at Grizzle.io shared in one of her LinkedIn posts how Good feedback (not a shitty soul-crushing type) is the *Biggest* reason why she’s a successful writer today.

“I learned that surface-level content did, indeed, suck HARD. The moment that clicked, I dove into making well-rounded arguments and example-driven points, supplemented by journalistic storytelling.

I learned that the writing style I picked up in school didn't translate to content marketing and online writing. It needed to be snappier, more digestible, and less redundant.

That's not to say school was pointless. It gave me research and analysis skills, critical thinking, and logical reasoning. Things I see all too often lacking in writing samples today 👀

And even though I'm a stronger writer now, I still look at work I produced 6-12 months ago and shutter. Because I still seek out feedback that makes me better. (Luckily, optimization exists ☀️)

So, if you're scared of feedback, it's time to face your fears.

It's the best thing you can do for yourself because it signals to clients that you're:

-Interested in growth

-Keen to upskill

-Emotionally mature enough to separate your feelings from the work at hand (when it comes down to it, we're evaluating words on a page—it's not personal)”

#5 Act on the feedback immediately:

Since it’s crystal clear that negative feedback is supposed to help you improve, it’s also important to note that if you don’t take swift action, then this whole exercise is meaningless.

While taking action is one of the crucial things to do upon receiving negative feedback, taking proper accountability in areas noted for improvement is very important. It’s a learning curve for you if you’ve set yourself to be teachable.

How to dish out negative feedback in a professional environment

In all systems of work, it’s okay for a superior to give their sincere feedback, but it’s completely unprofessional to give these reviews in a  cruel or shitty manner because it all has its consequences. Meanwhile, in many successful organizations, here are ways in which superiors give feedback;

#1 Deeply study and understand the person’s ability to absurd negative feedback and then apply a friendly approach.

Feedback is necessary for growth in any professional environment, but everyone reacts to it differently. While some employees might be understanding about the situation, have it in mind that others might struggle to digest the reviews and even break down emotionally.

Humans are complex beings to deal with and that’s why it is important to build an employer-employee relationship with your employees. Avoid being all bossy always. By doing this, you’re gradually getting earning their trust effortlessly. In fact, the more your employees can trust you, the more you can help them reach their maximum potential in work.

Whether you own a small, mid-sized, or any business, building a strong relationship with your employees helps you understand their weaknesses and strengths, who can absorb feedback receptively, and who can break down immediately at hearing negative feedback. With this, you can easily fashion out the best approach towards bringing such to their notice.

#2 Be Genuine.

You’re not doing your employees any good if you are sugarcoating their weaknesses. So, whether you’re given either positive or negative feedback, be genuine. Coating what is wrong or pampering words just because you don’t want to hurt their feelings won’t help them grow better, however, being honest with your feedback will do.

As an employer or superior, be open and plain with them when given feedback and more importantly, make them understand that you’re willing to help them overcome their challenges or struggle. Don’t just say it, show it.

#3 Dish the negative feedback in person and in a safe room.

Inherently, many people feel uncomfortable upon receiving negative feedback. We are human and there is this part in us that would make us react uncomfortably when we hear such reviews and it gets even worse when it’s dished in the presence of other colleagues.

Advisably, as an employer or superior, have a one-on-one with the other party in a closed office or conference room, this will not only make the employee feel respected, he or she will feel encouraged to be more open when responding to your feedback.

#4 Give your feedback with specificity.

Being specific is one of the professional ways to give negative feedback without the other party feeling attacked personally. Being specific here simply means that the employer will focus their feedback on the specific behavior or method of approach to change and not the individual.

This method helps them understand and absorb negative feedback with ease. In fact, it prevents them from becoming defensive and feeling as if their entire person is attacked.

For instance, instead of saying “Your writing is completely useless and unrelated,” you can say, “The passive voice used in this piece is much, so let’s focus on more active voice as it makes the article more readable and direct.

From these two citations, how would you react to each? If you’re like many others, you’ll feel attacked and broken, and disappointed at hearing the first feedback. But the second, makes me understand where I’m failing and I’ll strive to make it right next time. Both are negative feedback but the difference is specificity.

#5 Suggest necessary solutions

Giving negative feedback is good, but it’s much better when you suggest the necessary solutions that can help the employee to improve better. In any area, you’ve noticed weaknesses while given the criticisms it’s wise to recommend relatable solutions. You can recommend books, courses, or even YouTube channels that can really help. And if the fellow involved is success-driven, he or she would appreciate it. More so, follow up on their performance improvements.

The major difference between feedback and criticism

Undoubtedly, Criticism is completely different from feedback. Feedback are aims at improving the other party in areas of weaknesses while criticism deeply hurts the other party. According to this Forbes post, there are 5 major differences between them.

1. Criticism focuses on what you (Employee) don’t want, while feedback focuses on what you do want.
2. Criticism is focused on past repetitive mistakes, while feedback is focused on helping you improve your future.
3. Criticism deflates you(the employee) while feedback inspires you.
4. Criticism is focused on your weaknesses while feedback is focused on building up your strength.
5. Criticism says: “You’re the problem with our productivity.” Feedback says:” We can make this better together “