Heartwarming: CEO with Miserable Factory Workers Really, Really Cares About Robot Rights

At a conference on ethics in the tech world, Silicon Corp. CEO Jack Jones, known for regularly violating the rights of his overseas factory workers, inspired the crowd by boldly standing up for the wellbeing of completely hypothetical conscious robots.

“Look, it’s time that we as a society accept that fully conscious, autonomous, and intelligent robots — if they ever exist —deserve serious moral and legal consideration as full persons,” said Jones, whose workers barely scrape by on minimum wage. After taking a moment to sign off on a decision to cut his employees’ already minimal break time in half and increase their hours, he declared to a standing ovation, “How we treat robots in the future will be the true test and determiner of our humanity.”

Wow! There’s not many people in the tech industry brave enough to address the real ethical issues of our day — nor many who care enough to consider the rights of beings which currently don’t and may never exist. Somebody give this man a Nobel Peace Prize already!