Health Hazards? In *My* Bitcoin Mine? It’s More Likely Than You Think.

Bitcoin miners (2018, colorized)

Lured by the promise of riches beyond compare, people everywhere have dived head-first into bitcoin mining. But for many miners, such wealth has come at great cost.

“Spending too much time in the mines can cause irreversible damage to one’s body,” warns Dr. Cole Canary. “For example, after being regularly exposed to loud noises from so-called ‘thought leaders’ for just a few months, many miners display signs of hearing loss. I once told one of my patients that the price of bitcoin was dropping, and he just stared past me blankly and kept talking about how crypto was going to change the world.”

“And that’s not even mentioning the risk of death,” he continues, shaking his head sorrowfully. “Many a miner has been fatally crushed by price collapses, HODLing to the very end.”

So, we ask, what advice would you give to miners concerned about their health and safety? Dr. Canary pauses thoughtfully before responding, “Look, they call it _crypt_ocurrency for a reason. Get out of bitcoin mining before you’re buried alive!”