Crypto Astrology: Eclipses, Hacks, and Blood Baths

Could the crypto market be influenced by the cosmos? Take a minute to ponder a bizarre (and maybe totally coincidental) connection between solar/lunar eclipses and major market meltdowns like Terra and FTX. Maybe it’s not just the whales moving the market or even Elon’s latest tweet… maybe it’s the stars.

Welcome to my new creation, the world of crypto astrology.

This might sound strange, but looking at the stars—specifically, solar and lunar eclipses—reveals some surprising correlations with Bitcoin's price volatility. Or maybe hacks and meltdowns just happen so often in crypto that, of course, it's gonna happen on an eclipse day, too. Yeah, that’s also possible.

But before you write this off as just another conspiracy theory, hang tight—I’ve got some data (albeit thin data) to back it up.

I know “crypto astrology” sounds like something straight out of a fringe subreddit, but at least there are some patterns between eclipses and crypto chaos to see.

And before you roll your eyes, hear me out—because the signs are all there. You just have to be willing to read the code.

Stars Don’t Lie—And Neither Does Data

Each time a solar eclipse rolls around, it’s like someone flips a cosmic switch and throws the crypto market into chaos. I’m talking price drops, massive hacks, and all-around mayhem.

And I haven’t even started on lunar eclipses yet. So, let’s take a look at some of the most telling examples to prove my point. Correlation may not be causation, old fren, but it sure does slap when the stars align.

Just Crypto Cosmic Coincidences… Or Are They?

1. October 25, 2022: Around this partial eclipse, Binance got hacked for a sweet $570 million. Blockchain analytics firm Chainalysis has labeled October 2022 as “the biggest month in the biggest year ever for hacking activity."

   
   

2. December 4, 2021: Annular eclipse, major BitMart breach. Over $196 million vanished. Coincidence? I think not.

   
   

3. October 2, 2024: During this year’s annular eclipse, Bitcoin’s price dipped hard as geopolitical tensions surged and $242 million flowed out of U.S. Bitcoin ETFs. The universe doesn’t mess around. Ouch

   
   

Okay, sure—maybe the crypto market is just naturally prone to hacks and vulnerabilities. After all, it’s an emerging space with a lot of moving parts, and bad actors are always looking for weak spots.

But here’s the deal: run the numbers. Go into the stats around the major hacks, collapses, and wild price swings, and check if they line up with solar or lunar eclipses. I dare anyone to prove otherwise. (The comments are available below!)

The stars might just have more influence than we think—or maybe it’s all just a cosmic coincidence. Either way, I’m sticking to my theory.

Need More Convincing?

Here’s a table of some solar eclipses and the dark side of crypto activity that surrounded them:

Blood Moons, Blood Baths, and Bitcoin

What if I told you some of the most dramatic crashes in recent years also happened to line up with lunar eclipses? Lunar eclipses might even be more potent than solar eclipses in their impact!

Sure, the crypto market is volatile by nature, often swinging with regulatory changes, influencer tweets, and global news.

But even the biggest skeptics might have to pause when they see how some of the largest market crashes line up with eclipses. Coin360 analyzed lunar eclipses between 2014 and 2022, revealing that half of them coincided with significant crypto downturns.

Think about it: statistically, that’s a big deal—crypto crashes don’t just happen every other day, right? The odds of these events coinciding with 50% of lunar eclipses by pure chance? Pretty slim.

So, is it all just a coincidence? Or maybe the universe really does have a cosmic grudge against crypto.

Here are some notable ones:

1. May 16, 2022 (Total Lunar Eclipse): This wasn’t your average blood moon. Around this time, Terra (LUNA) and its stablecoin, UST, completely imploded. We’re talking about Bitcoin crashing below $26,000 and over $200 billion vanishing from the market in just 24 hours. The collapse rippled through the DeFi ecosystem, leaving investors in shock and confidence at an all-time low​.

   
   

   

   
   

2. November 8, 2022 (Total Lunar Eclipse): On this infamous blood moon, FTX—one of the largest crypto exchanges—crumbled. Liquidity issues led to panic selling, and Binance’s CEO decided to offload their FTT holdings, triggering a market-wide meltdown. Bitcoin hit a two-year low at $15,680, and billions were wiped out as trust in centralized exchanges evaporated overnight​.

   
   

3. May 26, 2021 (Super Blood Moon): Although the market was already shaky due to external factors like China's crypto ban and Elon Musk’s announcements about Bitcoin, the total lunar eclipse on this date coincided with further price declines, adding fuel to an already volatile situation​. (Coin360)

   
   

   

Connecting the Stars: What Does It All Mean?

So, if you ever went to a palm reader or tarot reader and they told you that one day you'd be rich, you might want to take a moment to think about what I’m saying. Next time a solar or lunar eclipse is on the horizon, hedge, hedge, hedge—protect your position, or cosmic justice might come for you as it did me. I ignored the signs back in 2022 when I first started seeing these patterns, and trust me, the universe doesn’t mess around when you overlook its warnings.

If you hold bags in crypto, I say it’s time to go beyond the crypto charts and start stargazing. Maybe, just maybe, you’ll find a new world.

When the sun and moon line up, it’s not just a celestial show—it’s a cosmic alert for your portfolio. Forget about your trading signals; maybe it’s time to mix in some horoscope checks. Who says you can’t have a little star gazing in your market strategy?

Whether you’re a Bitcoin maxi or a bull riding the altcoin waves, the stars might just be your new secret edge to success.

And speaking of protecting those bags, next time eclipses are predicted, you better believe I’ll be taking precautions.

What’s the best way to do it? I’ll be trying out the Bumper.fi protocol, which lets you protect your assets and take the difference if things get chaotic (because we all know they will). 🌌

Here’s a table of upcoming eclipses! Forewarned is forearmed!

Want a selection of more spurious correlations? Check out this link.

Disclaimer*: This blog isn’t financial advice. Duh.*